It's quite discouraging to sit and think about how much I have not accomplished. I have so many dreams, aspirations, things that I wanted for myself and I have done nothing to get myself there.
I sit and watch all that the people around me are doing, the people I look up to, and I yearn to be where they are. I defend my inactivity by assuring myself that I am only 19 and there is still time to get there. While sitting, idle, firmly standing by this theory, I watch people my age fighting with everything in them to get to where they want to be. Some succeeding and some working their hardest to make sure they get there. This is where that theory starts to fade and doubt sets in.
I completely understand that if I do nothing, nothing will happen. I know what I want my future to hold but I am stunted by the uncertainty. How do I get there? Where do I start?
I go through the motions daily, not advancing. I have lost sight of myself in the midst of all of the doubt. Things continue to come up, one after another, trying to attack the positivity in me. I'm starting to fear that it has worked, that it has squeezed out every bit of will I have to be the person I want to be and do what I want to do.
I am at a standstill.